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Surround yourself with positivity

Photo © Frank Mckenna | Poster © Laura Azevedo, PinkDialogues

One of the things I believe most is that what people say to us and how they live their lives matter more than words could explain. People influence us even when we think they don’t. Especially our own family, our closest friends or even our boss.

Don’t believe it? Let’s play a game.

Imagine yourself having dinner with one of those friends or family that are always saying negative things about life, your friends, their friends, the news or even the governor. Now, imagine yourself initiating this important conversation about your plans for the future. You have this fantastic, possible, but difficult dream that you want to share. And you are willing to do anything to make this dream come true, including working harder, focusing, learning. Now, while you are explaining how you pretend to achieve your goals, imagine your family and friends not paying enough attention, nor feeling half of your enthusiasm. Worst. Imagine them telling you that you should give up, that you shouldn’t even try. Because life is hard. The governor is corrupt. And the crisis wouldn’t make things easy for you. How would you feel? Would you still believe in your dream?

Now, imagine yourself listening to this kind of words all the time. For years. Oh, several years. In fact, throughout your whole life. What would be the impact of these people on your life?

Now, just out of curiosity, let’s imagine a different reality. Imagine you are in this same dinner and, instead of having your friends and family telling you the above, they listen to you carefully, they make questions to understand what you want in detail, they give you examples of people who succeeded even though the crises and the difficulties. Imagine them telling you that it won’t be easy, but they believe in your capabilities, and they are there to support you. That you should follow your dreams because they want you to be happy. They highlight, though, big goals need a very strong commitment. If you are willing to work that hard, you should take the risk. They didn’t succeed, but you have qualities they don’t have. Most importantly, you can learn from their mistakes. How would you feel? Probably, their realistic but supportive feedback would encourage you to follow your dream, wouldn’t it?

Allowing yourself to be surrounded by people who don’t believe in you, who constantly discourage you, who consistently highlight the darkest side of life, it’s like allowing yourself to have this slowly and inevitable death. These people matter. You learn from their attitudes and experiences. Even if you try not to, their words stay in your consciousness. Unconsciously. For a long time.

Surround yourself with positivity. Choose the right people for you. If possible, avoid the negative ones. I hear you: we can’t get rid of our blood family. But we can surely choose our friends, the movies we watch, the books we read and how we want to approach most of the things in life. So, just take a deep breath and, when they are discouraging you, tell yourself not to take them seriously. Have this in mind: whatever is the situation, they will always have this particular talent to focus on the negative things only. It’s not personal. It’s how they are.

Balance the negativity of the things and people you can’t avoid with loads of other choices that you can consciously make to surround yourself with valuable and fresh inputs. Be closer to friends that admire you, but that also have the courage to tell you what they think — in a constructive way. Listen to a powerful speaker. Read an exciting book. Follow people who inspire you. Meditate. Listen to happy music. Dance.

Do whatever you can to be positively inspired by those who surround you. I believe your body, mind and life will thank you in the future.

My name is Laura. I’m a full-time freelance graphic designer, illustrator, web designer and social media specialist based in London. I’m also a book author, blogger and an enthusiastic storyteller. Absolutely passionate about my work, I'm inspired by people, places and little joys.

[email protected]

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